Passing along interesting emails
Published 12:01 pm Monday, November 30, 2015
We get a variety of eyebrow-raising emails here at the EAGLE from companies that would like their latest and greatest news from a press release on our front page. I’ll share three of the most intriguing with you here that I had saved for column fodder.
The first was an announcement that J&D’s Foods, makers of Bacon Salt, is now making bacon-scented underwear.
Here are two graphs from the release:
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“Marrying the ultimate in comfort and cured meat, J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear represents the gold standard of meat-scented luxury undergarments. Each pair is hand-crafted in the USA to offer the support of briefs, the freedom of boxers and the smell of breakfast cooking in your pants. You really can have it all.
“Featuring state-of-the-art moisture-wicking, scent-emission technology stolen from NASA, we’ve embedded the smell of everyone’s favorite smell into the fabric of your pants. This intoxicating scent will last through multiple wash cycles and wearings — depending on the (ahem) strength of your own scent, your underwear should continue to smell like bacon for up to six months or even a year.”
I looked it up, and it is actually serious. If you’re a vet or a mailman and know better, you can still get something bacon-scented: they make a pillowcase also.
The next interesting item was a press release from Bright Cherry Media. The subject line for the email was “Local Story: Divorces in Mississippi typically ‘cordial,’ study finds.”
A line from this email states:
“Analysis by online divorce form preparation service CompleteCase.com (who provide complete divorce documents) found which states have divorcing couples who are either more amicable, cordial, or, alas, downright disagreeable than each other. This was calculated by comparing couples in each state who declared online that they were in agreement with each other, against those who were not?”
According to the study, divorces are so agreeable that you might remain friends in Vermont (No. 1), Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Oregon and Kansas. Mississippi comes in at No. 23 on that list. The worst five states, where things could get super ugly, are Nevada, Connecticut, Colorado, Arkansas and Alabama (No. 51).
I’m not so sure about that study, but passing along anyway.
The final release was from the Center for Biological Diversity with a headline of “Men Encouraged to ‘Get Whacked for Wildlife’ on World Vasectomy Day.’”
The center covered the cost of 20 vasectomies in New York City clinics that day, and this was a graph in its release:
“In honor of World Vasectomy Day on Friday, the Center for Biological Diversity is encouraging men around the country to ‘get whacked for wildlife’ to highlight the pressure human population growth puts on wildlife and the role men can play in preventing unplanned pregnancies. Men who pledge to get a vasectomy for World Vasectomy Day will get a free ‘Get Whacked for Wildlife’ T-shirt featuring a polar bear carrying a pair of scissors on the front and text on the back that reads: ‘With more than 7 billion people, we’re crowding wildlife off the planet. Vasectomies help.’”
In case you wanted to get in on that, you’ll have to wait for next year. The annual day is Nov. 13.
Stephanie Rebman is editor of the Oxford EAGLE. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.