Some cats get lasagna, but my cats don’t.

I grew up with dogs, outdoor dogs, that ate scraps.

When I got an outside cat, I didn’t think twice about throwing it a bone, which it must have liked, because now I have five cats and they eat anything I throw out.

While I know veterinarians say not to feed your animals “people food,” my observations show my cats are fine with leftovers.

I tested my theory to see what my cats will and will not eat. We just so happened to have a bunch of old dishes spoiling in the fridge; I love chicken, but not after two weeks in storage. There were also some old mashed potatoes, biscuits and peas I needed to throw away. My cats jumped at the chicken then went for the potatoes, peas and finally the biscuits.

The point being, my cats will eat most everything, but they love eating their cat food.

I feed them regular dry cat food, the kind that comes in the large value bags every morning. Sometimes I have to feed them twice when they get extra hungry.

I know that cats are supposed to hunt mice and birds, but mine are on the lazy side and I don’t want them to starve.

On some occasions they do bring home dinner, proudly showing off their kill like they just won an Olympic medal.

After they eat half of it, they leave the other half on the front step to remind me why I pay them.

“That’s great, cat, but I just saw a mouse in the house and wanted to ask you how he got past security?”

I get no response, but they still think they are doing a good job.

I do pay attention to the other cat food commercials on TV. Some of those commercials are really compelling; I especially like the one where the cats sing meow to the jingle.

Some of the commercials say that our cats are the decedents of lynxes, pumas and mountain lions and need a meaty diet full of fish, poultry or beef protein.

I think they need to add rats, moles and tweety birds to their menus since that’s what cats really eat. I am not sure what animal byproducts are, but I’m sure it tastes kind of like potted meat.

Recently my cat, Ham (yes, I named him after food), learned to open the cat food container by himself. He pushes it down the stairs and claws at the lid until it comes off. I found my cats one night having their own little thanksgiving on the porch; glad to know they still like it.

For some people, their pets are their babies, for which I’m not judging. I had an aunt that would actually fry chicken for her dog, no joke. For me, however, my cats are my furry garbage disposals that are fun to keep around.

I feed them the cheap stuff and the old spaghetti and let them find for the rest.

Allen Brewer is a former EAGLE intern and currently the news editor for Northwest Mississippi Community College’s newspaper, the Ranger Rocket. You can reach him at allenbrewer4968@yahoo.com