Signs, signs, everywhere signs — and it’s a good thing

Published 11:10 am Monday, October 17, 2016

Some weeks I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Other weeks, I might be pondering my past. One day, maybe politics, and the next about being excited for the Christmas holiday coming up.

Lately, though, I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about why people do what they do; why they say things they say; and what makes us tick.

I haven’t come up with any answers of course, but I’ve noticed a few strange things lately about us humans.

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For example, our obsession with signs.

The other day I had to use the restroom. We have two at the EAGLE office – one marked men, one marked women. They’re single bathrooms so no one else uses it at the same time as you do.

We also have one bathroom back in the press with no such sign on the door.

I noticed someone was in the bathroom and waited a moment or two, but as other women my age can attest too, waiting to use the bathroom for a long period of time isn’t a good idea.

The men’s bathroom was free.

But I stood in the hallway and paced. Eventually, I ran down the other side of the building to use the bathroom without the sign instead of simply using the men’s room because, well, I’m a human and I do weird things like that.

That sign said “Men” and I am not a man. I admit, when desperate, I have used the men’s room only to leave quickly as to not be seen by anyone so they wouldn’t know my shame.

Not long ago, I stood in the grocery check-out with my daughter. The sign said 15 Item Limit. I counted 16.

“You gotta move,” I told her. “Look at the sign!”

She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

Maybe it is just me obsessed with signs. Maybe it’s an old person thing. Kids today have no respect for signs!

The sign tells us to drive 55 mph, most of us drive 55 mph. Most days. When I’m not in a rush. But even then, I feel guilty and should I get a ticket, I can’t even complain because I know I didn’t listen to the sign.

We need signs. What would happen without stop signs or signs that tell us what the temperature and time are?

Apparently, we need signs that tell us who to vote for, as noted by the clutter we see on our rights-of-ways each election time.

I don’t need a sign for that one. I think I got that figured out already.

I think I need more signs, like one on my hamper that says “Wash Me.” Or one on the sink telling me to wash the dishes. A sign above my bed telling me to get out when the alarm goes off might be helpful as well.

While we’re at it, a sign on the refrigerator that reads, “DON’T DO IT,” might be good too.

alyssa schnugg is Senior Writer at the EAGLE. Write to her at