One day in, one day out

Published 8:41 am Friday, October 27, 2017

By TJ Ray

As I meandered around the delicate wear for ladies, one of the clerks followed closely. (No doubt such people have a more significant title than Clerk. Perhaps Couturier or Fashionista.) Ignoring her, thinking she would call security at any second, I continued with my task.

Perhaps the metal carpenter’s tape in my hand alarmed her. It’s possible that she saw me as a bad guy come to do terrible things among all the delicate lingerie and fragrances. Anyway, I picked up another shoe and pulled out the end of the tape. Yep, just under four inches at the heel and a fourth of an inch at the toe. The consequence: all her weight was pressing down on your feet at a 68.7-degree angle. Not very bright, but very much in style.

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Dr. Pavlov has issued a new call to his flock, three results of which are already to be seen. One is the high-heeled shoes. As these are often thick bottoms instead of stiletto heels, they seem more fitting to a dragoon.

Another of his accomplishments is too frequently seen in the bare shoulders, exposed by the draped sleeve slightly lower on the arm. Ah, me, shouldn’t there be a salve or something to cover the partial tattoos now peeking out? Is there some way to disguise the bony shoulder joints?

His summons has not resulted yet in a flood of boots, but they are to be seen. Long, clunky pieces of leather, sometimes reaching the knees. With short skirts and tall boots, the much unsightly thigh is displayed.

Somewhere in a back room on 57th Street in New York, Dr. Pavlov and his minions are enjoying some bubbly. Once again they have pulled off a coup: somehow convincing ladies that the perfectly preserved and hardly used footwear and blouses from last year should be replaced. Drawing boards are quite likely blossoming with sketches of what is to come. High heels for a couple of years will be followed by flats. And all those bare shoulders will be properly ensconced in pretty patterns.

Of course, the good doctor and his cohorts do not neglect the other gender. A careful, scientific scrutiny of men reveals that Pavlov is modifying the tops of men, not their feet.

Though there are still many unsightly shining hairless heads around, blinding the rest of the world with the glare of their pates, the new way to treat hair is to semi-shave one side of it. Sometimes the remaining long hair on the other side is combed over. The style mimics the semi-shaving that came into vogue a year or so ago, carefully cutting facial hair not quite to the skin, creating a fantastic semi-quasi five-o’clock shadow.

Well, so much for this season. Here’s looking at you, kid!

TJ Ray is a retired professor of English at Ole Miss.