Mothers are the glue that hold us together

Published 8:08 am Saturday, May 13, 2023

By Bonnie Brown

Happy Mother’s Day!

I have been thinking about the role women play in our society. Most societies are patriarchal. According to, “In sociology, patriarchy is described as a form of social organization where cultural and institutional beliefs and values are dominated by men. This leads to male-oriented decision-making and social organization.”

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Yep, that pretty much describes our societal structure.

How can this be? Especially when you stop to think about your mother and her impact on you. First of all, she carried you in her body until she pushed you out of her hoo-hoo. Conception and childbirth are truly miracles.

Your mother was immediately the caregiver whether she was your biological, surrogate, adoptive or step-mother. She fed you, protected you, cleaned you and provided a safe environment for you. Sometimes she was the judge and jailer (think time-out or being grounded for some mis-deed).

Your mother was your first teacher, your nurse, your role model.

Let’s be clear that it was your mother who assembled the science project, sat in the carpool lane and calmed your nerves when you were in an awkward situation. She kissed the boo-boos and baked your favorite cookies for you.

Fathers are important too and current-day fathers are far more “hands-on” than in earlier
decades. My husband told me early in my pregnancy that he had a weak stomach, a bad gag reflex and that he just didn’t think he could change a poopy diaper, but he intended to actively participate and care for his offspring in every other way.

So, one of the first times the baby needed a diaper change, he didn’t think twice about the task and changed the dirty diaper without any drama.

In my opinion, mothers are the glue that holds the family together, which makes me want to re-define our societal structure. She often unknowingly creates a strong family bond by strengthening family relationships in many, many ways. She makes sure that the father shares in the responsibilities of child rearing. She negotiates peace among siblings and teaches them how to deal with emotions and boundaries.

Mothers seem to intuitively know the most effective ways to ensure that the family bonds and functions as a unit even though it is not an easy task.

There is no better way to strengthen the family than to assemble them at the dinner table. It doesn’t have to be a fancy meal, it’s just the together time that matters. Sometimes the concerns or disappointments of the day are discussed and resolved over a pile of pasta. There are many lessons to be learned in this setting. Don’t allow social media to dominate family life.

Why aren’t there more matriarchal societies? Good question. I have no answer to this. And yet even though the patriarchal society is the most prevalent, I truly believe that it is the women who are stronger. I also don’t think I’d get much of an argument from the guys about this.

Don’t forget that your mom is your biggest cheerleader and your harshest critic. She is a philosopher and a magician. She is the role model whose values you carry forward in life.

Honor and celebrate your mother this Mother’s Day.

Abraham Lincoln got it right when he said “All that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”